Adoption, should we or shouldn’t we? 

By: Dean and JoAnn Kruger

That was the question we asked ourselves when we could not have our own biological children by natural or medically assisted means.  My wife was all for it.  I was skeptical.  I did not want to be a character on a lifetime movie of the week or an after school special because someone decided they changed their mind and wanted their child back.  My trepidation made my wife wonder too.  Mostly because she wanted me to be comfortable with the decision and commitment adoption and parenthood demands.

Ultimately, we decided to do the preliminary paperwork and wait and see what might transpire.  Little did we know the lord already had this path laid out for us.  We jumped through a few hoops, changed agencies, went through what can only be described as an invasive approval process, and turned in our preliminary application.  That was April 10, 2005.  In Guatemala City, on April 17, 2005, Jose Eduardo Catun Xol was born.  He weighed in at a robust 5 pounds.  He was tiny.  He was gorgeous.  I cannot speak for my wife; for me it was love at first sight.  The biggest question was, how could we name this child the name we had chosen.  It did not fit him.  Despite being a gift from God, he did not look like a “Samuel”.  Ultimately, his given name was anglicized and he’s been our Joseph ever since.  We agreed to adopt him on April 24^th, 2005 and never looked back.

We did many things in addition to a mountain of paperwork to get ready to go and get him.  We obtained a blanket and slept with it for several nights, washed it a few times, and sent it for him to use so he would know what we smelled like.  We read books into a tape recorder so he could hear our voices and know what we sound like.  We made a chewable book with our photos so he could see our faces so he would know what we look like.  We were told our application would initially be rejected, and we should not panic when that happened so I tried to fill our paperwork as thoroughly, perfectly, and completely as I possibly could.  Apparently, God had our back as we made it through family court the 1^st try, and were told to pack our bags for a flight to Guatemala on October 23^rd, 2005.

We arrived in Guatemala only to discover we made a mistake in our estimated arrival.  We were an hour late.  Needless to say we had to fight through the urge to panic.  We stuck to our plan.  We went to our hotel to check into our room and wait for a call, as instructed.  Upon arrival, the lobby was empty.  When we got to the front desk, we saw a man in the back of the hotel.  Then we heard a child cry.  My wife took off to find out if it was him.  It was.  I’ll never forget that moment.  My wife was smiling from ear to ear, holding our son, and he was holding onto his new mommy’s nose.  And that was the moment he became ours.  He did not have to go back to foster care or an orphanage while we finished up the legalities.  He stayed with us in our hotel room from that night on.

Words cannot describe the joy our son has brought into our lives.  It made a difficult and stressful journey worth every moment.  It reinforced God’s presence in our lives.  Our journey has proven to be one best case scenario after another.  We are the proud parents of a smart little boy with a huge heart.  He likes drawing and coloring.  He loves animals.  He cares about his friends and refers to his current roommates as his “brothers”.

While not every moment is perfect by any means, we wouldn’t trade a second of our journey for anything.  We understand we’re blessed beyond our wildest dreams.  It’s hard to imagine God chose us to receive such an exceptional gift and we’re grateful

If you are considering adoption go to the Iowa KidsNet website: www.iakids.org

Iowa KidsNet is a statewide collaboration of six agencies dedicated to children and families. Iowa KidsNet currently has the responsibility to recruit, train, license and support Iowa’s foster and adoptive parents. Quakerdale is one of Iowa KidsNets agencies that partner on other child welfare initiatives with the goal of helping all of Iowa’s children reach their potential for greatness. 

Welcome to our blog and very first post.  We hope this to be a resource and are here to offer you with educational and heartfelt stories from authors that have experienced the topic FIRSTHAND. This post will be talking about Seasonal Affective Disorder and in light of National Adoption Month our next post will come from a couple that will share their journey through the hardships of infertility and their choice to adopt. 

Seasonal Affective Disorder 101: How you can create light in the dark

Perhaps it’s the changing colors of nature.  Hayrides.  The excitement of back-to-school time.  Football.  Breaking out the warm sweaters.  I, too, love autumn’s splendor.  In fact, my birthday generally falls on the first day of autumn!  However, there is a flip side.  Every September, when I hear the distinctive honking of geese flying overhead, a switch is engaged inside of me.  That switch is the trigger for my yearly onset of Seasonal Affective Disorder. 

The worst symptoms to deal with were that EVERYTHING would make me cry (and I”m not a  “frequent cryer”!).  As I traveled from client to client, it seemed that every sad song known to mankind came on the radio.  Watching the harvest made me cry.  Falling leaves would make me cry.  And Lord help me if I saw flocks of those geese I mentioned flying over.  I would manage to pull myself together and put on a brave face for the families I work with, but if they ever saw the well of sadness inside of me, who knows what they would have thought.

The fatigue was almost unbearable, and I really had to push myself to get a move on with both work and home responsibilities.  The harder I pushed, the worse it seemed to get.  And don’t even get me started on winter weight gain!  The lousier I felt, the more comfort I would seek from food.  Less energy to exercise plus increase in calories; well, you do the math! 

Millions of other people, including myself, face this form of depression as the seasons change each year.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (often abbreviated as SAD—-very aptly!) can strike anyone, but certain folks are more susceptible than others. Women tend to be more at risk than men.  People who live in places that receive markedly less daylight in the fall and winter are also more likely to be affected by SAD.  People who have experienced loss or trauma that occurred at this time of the year are vulnerable as well.  (My father died in the month of September, for example.)

 Symptoms can include any of the following:

 —-increased need for sleep, daytime sleepiness

—-sluggishness, hard to get moving

—-difficulty focusing and concentrating

—-irritability, sadness

—-withdrawing from and/or lack of interest in usually-enjoyed social activities

—-increased appetite, especially for sweets and carbohydrates

—-lack of energy

So what causes this “seasonal slump”?  Research suggests a number of potential triggers for the winter blues.  The decreased amount of daylight seems to play a large role.  (The daylight savings time change wreaks havoc in many folks’ lives.)  Other theories posit that hormonal fluctuations, body temperature, and even genetics have a part to play. 

You may be wondering, what on earth can I do about SAD? 

Well, we obviously cannot stop autumn and winter from occurring each year!  As I often tell my clients, put your energy towards the things that you have power to change. 

The good news is in many cases you don’t have to take any medicine.

Some things that we can do to comfort ourselves and ease our symptoms are:

——Seek light!  A daily walk in natural sunlight can be very helpful.  Also, consult with your medical professional about the possibility of light therapy.  There are special lights that can be prescribed that have been demonstrated to reduce symptoms.

 —-Watch what you’re eating.  Although everything in you is screaming for comfort from breads, pastas and sugar, mindfully choosing a healthful, balanced diet can go a long ways towards your well-being.

 —-Try to get a little bit of exercise each day, even if you don’t feel like it.  Make the effort to get out and see friends. 

 —-That said, don’t overdo it.  Overscheduling yourself with too many holiday activities and social obligations can backfire.  Listen to your body.  If you need to “hibernate” and get some rest, do it!

—-Work around your tired times of the day as much as possible, and save detailed focused work for your more energetic hours (usually mid-morning and early afternoon).

—-Of course, symptoms can range from mild and bearable to intensely painful and potentially threatening to safety and well-being.  If you find that you or a loved one are suffering for more than a couple of weeks, please consult with a mental health professional.   Some folks truly benefit from the use of an anti-depressant to get through these months of the year.  As always, if you ever feel that you or someone you know is in danger of self-harm or suicide, call 9-1-1 or get to the nearest emergency room.

SAD can be a tough thing to deal with, especially when it seems that the rest of the world is so busy and cheerful at this time of year.  However, there are lots of ways to manage the symptoms and feel healthier and more at peace!  

In Christ’s Love,

Kelly Newgaard, LMFT

Quakerdale Advanced Clinician-New Providence Campus  

 Learn more about Quakerdale by visiting our website at www.quakerdale.org.